boygroups are built on the “non-threatening and relatable to young women” -male concept, which caused me to be vigilant and untrusting of these celebrities maybe too much (though not completely unjustifyingly) bcs what they looked and seemed like was a performanse. these men don’t share your values etc.. so i only resently realised boy groups have given many women a safe way to view men just interacting and being human without the weight of romantic context. concidering how deeply we separate the genders it is actually quite rare.

boy band culture is potrayed as only a deeply alienating experience between the binary genders. like the format of it would only deepen the lasck of understanding between. that there exists only charicatures on both sides. the hysteric female stan sexualises a hypothetical boyfriend concept sold to her and the naive yet sexist male idol sees the fans merely as means to an end not deserving of understanding. but in reality there’s a rare and unique form of platonic love, respect and understanding between these groups. a lot of it strengthetened by the somewhat social alienation of both. catering to a female audience and being in a boy band will keep a male idol separate from hegemonic masculinity and being a fan girl is notoriously looked down upon. so excistance of the micro culture requires separation from the mainstream and inner group reliance. radio regulars don’t need to culminate a dedicated fanbase but kpop groups get almost all of their revenue from fans.

one thing about medical transition discourse i have thoughts on is the notion that (if we’re excluding the discussion of cis-passing bodies and assume that in both cases the body and presentation is gnc.) medically transitioned body is more respected by the cis society than a non-medically transitioned one (and has more privilege in contrast because cis people see you as more valid bc a “drastic” choice to alter your body explains the seriousness of your identity.) from my experience i’d say, it’s true cis people’s way of dealing and addressing you changes, but i wouldn’t call it more respectful in any capacity. the voyeuristic right cis people think they have to my body and my experience, the way they want to debate and ogle in horror at me, invading my autonomy because to them the transitioned body is not an extension of a person but a publicly discussed show